Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize
