Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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