Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
True college students do jello shots in the library
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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