I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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