Me too!
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
