i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
