i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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