You can't motorboat a personality
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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