We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
