Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I need a beard to bite.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
