go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
