Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
