I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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