I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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