let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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