you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
