She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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