girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
