You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
