What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
