it hurts more in the daytime
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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