Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
