you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize