the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
