my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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