i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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