Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
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