Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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