opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
