ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
