Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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