we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
The cops high fived after they tackled you
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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