So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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