The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
