Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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