I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
