Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
