Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
