your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
