I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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