I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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