Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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