Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
