Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
