Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
