i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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