2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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