Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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