I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize