I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
