she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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