sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
