I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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