if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
