Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
