I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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