That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
