1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
