All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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