I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
